Amandarose .
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Untitled | Tumblr on We Heart It.
I think the sadness is
coming back.
I’m starting to recite poetry
in my sleep again,
and I can’t help but
cry in the shower.
I used to think that I could
stop being sad whenever I
chose to,
so I continued being sad
and when I tried to stop,
it was so difficult.
After you’re sad once,
I think it stays with you.
Even after all this time,
I still feel the sadness
coming up my throat.
I stayed up all night with
my head over the toilet
but nothing came out.
I don’t think you can just
vomit out sadness.
I remember when I woke up
one day,
and the sky was blue again.
I thought I had gotten
through this.
I thought that once I had
gotten through it,
it would be over forever.
But sometimes I still get very sad.
Sometimes my mother isn’t here
to hold me against her chest
while I cry myself to sleep.
It shouldn’t be like this.
I felt all the dust gather up
around my lungs.
I sat in my room just rotting,
slowly decomposing,
for a long time.
I think I’m going back.
I think it’s happening
all over again.
I think this sadness
is stronger than me.
M.O.W, I think the sadness is coming back (via imwritingpoems)